The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide answers the uncomfortable questions everyone encounters on an unfortunately regular basis and talks to people around the world who embrace the stranger side of life.

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Hosted by Adam Dachis, Darren Herczeg, Erica Elson, and Richard Cardenas.

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240: Shoes and a Side Sandwich

February 24, 2019 at 2:15PM • 1 hour 8 minutes • Wiki Entry

This awkward week we're talking about cummy laptop, dick faucets, hungry shoes, and pussy sweats with special guest Sam DeSurra!

Show Notes & Links Presented by CacheFly

Awkward Story Time: Sam fingers her first butthole...and likes it.

Special guests: Sam DeSurra 


Jesse: "I got four roommates but I'm the only one who's got a laptop so I shared it but then somebody used it to jerk off and left cum in it that got into a USB port and now it won't work anymore. Nobody owned up so I changed the password. Two weeks later there's more cum in the laptop. It was not a full load but I had to clean it out the keyboard with an electric toothbrush since the normal one didn't do a good job. I went online to get a cheap security camera and hid it in a book. Nothing happened for a month but then I find cum all over the Dell logo inside the laptop like it's a laptop cum sandwich. Nothing shows on the security camera tho. No roommates on the video jackin off and nobody sleep fucked my laptop. Who is cumming in my laptop?? There must be explanation for the cum. You got one, please?"

Beth: "Aloha coworkers of California! I have a weird mystery I need help with solving please! I work in this small office doing nothing interesting at my job. It is unremarkable in all ways except we cannot wear our shoes by policy. Sometimes it's nice to be honest but on January 2 I noticed half of a sandwich in my shoe when I came to leave. I feel you will want to know it was tuna salad with lettuce and tomato on rye. This has happened with different sandwich halves three more times since but stopped three weeks ago. Nobody went on holiday or was fired. Was this a prank or was I supposed to notice something. I don't know if the sandwiches will return and this has made me very curious for an explanation.

Thank you very much!
Your fan Beth"

anything but my name: "Hello awkward solution factory. I'm on a medication I seriously need to live and it makes me precum like nonstop. I precum at breakfast. I precum in my sleep. It's like my dick has a cold that never quits. My question is what should I do with the precum? I wear a non-lubricated condom for small dicks all day and it is embarrassing to buy them all the time even online because it recommends other small dick products to me and my friends see it. My dick is medium-sized anyways but when it's hard not a turtleneck. I tried sandwich bags but you can hear them and that's worse. Do you know of a product that's like a precum catcher that exists that I could use?"

Sweaty Pussy Girl: "Dear Awkward human survival guide podcast but mostly Erica (and girl guest?),
Why is my vagina sweating when I'm around my boss? Is he intimidating? Honestly? Sometimes maybe. Is he arousing? I'm a lesbian but still no. A good guy for sure but he looks like the lovechild of Weinstein and Carrot top. Not even arousal I don't want out of grossness. I don't have emotions going on when I see him almost no matter what. It happens on the outside anyways like dew drops on my mons. I don't get it and I don't know any clues to tell you. I'm gonna ask my gyno in a few weeks but I'm like pretty sure she's gonna not know. Girl to girl have you experienced vaginal sweats for any reason and you know why? I stuff a napkin in there most days or it's like I peed.
- Sweaty Pussy Girl"