The Awkward Human Survival Guide Retired

The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide answers the uncomfortable questions everyone encounters on an unfortunately regular basis and talks to people around the world who embrace the stranger side of life.

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Hosted by Adam Dachis, Darren Herczeg, Erica Elson, and Richard Cardenas.

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235: Hustle!

January 17, 2019 at 5:00PM • 55 minutes • Wiki Entry

This awkward week we're talking about masturbation nooks, illiteracy, and an Ellen emotion explosion with special guest Tommy Honton!

Show Notes & Links Presented by CacheFly

Awkward Story Time: Adam and Richard get free hats at Rockefeller Center.

Special guests: Tommy Honton 


Thomas: "herro there,
me and my girlfriend decided to move intogether however theres a problem. she loves to masturbate all the time. i cant fuck her enough to satiate her needs and im cool with that. howveer its gonna get weird if shes masturbating all over the house. we have a walkin closet i thought she could use as a masturbation nook. shes into it but you gotta go through my office space to get to it. she moans a lot and i like that when im fucking her. i like it less when im doing taxes (im an accountant). can you think of a good process for making this masturbation nook work for us?

The Book Lady: "I just started dating this guy three weeks ago. Sex is phenom and he's the sweetest. He can't read tho. He's like full on illiterate. I read all the time so is this gonna work? I don't wanna be that girl but is this a dealbreaker? I don't wanna get attached if it's gonna be a problem y'know? He doesn't seem THAT dumb tho. I have to say I am confused about what to do. Please help!"

Amy: "Aloha Coworkers of the World!

It's your #4 fan Amy! I love your show and I've wanted to write in forever and ever but my life is so boring! I think it's why I like your show so much!

Anywayz I probably don't need your help because this will almost definitely blow over in a week but I want your help. I've wanted it a long time now. Who knows? You'll maybe think of something I won't! That would be so cool!

This is so stupid but I think you will like it. I read an article about Ellen (lesbian talk show comedian Ellen) that said she's not actually that nice. I don't mean it said she's a bitch but that she's not really that nice in real life and she feels claustrophobicized by her persona. Sorry I know claustrophobicized is not a word but I want it to be. I was eating dinner with my boyfriend and told him about it. After three years in a relationship you need to read articles to have new things to talk about because you're practically done knowing each other or maybe that's just me although it seems I didn't know him as well as I thought! He lost his mind over this. He got really mad I was trash talking Ellen. I was like dude I'm not! It's an article. He just flew into this rage over it and was calling me a bitch and I don't know her so I can't talk about her. Then like two hours later he was fine and apologized but will *not* talk about it no matter what I say.

This seriously freaked me out. Everything's fine for now but do you know what would make someone act like that out of nowhere? He was smiling seconds earlier. He's always very mellow and I love that about him. I don't know why he won't talk to me about this but he promised he'd never do it again. He's scared of drugs so I don't think drugs did it. He's way good at hiding it if it's drugs. We live together and I do the house repairs. My parents are dead now but we used to flip homes together and it makes me feel close to them. My point is I would have found drugs in the house by now. But I wish it was drugs because after some googling there are diseases he could have and that's way worse! He's going to his physical on Monday anyway so if it's something like that they'll catch it which is why I said I think I don't need help. Anywayz do you know what else it could be or how I can help him with this?

Thx fam!
xoxo AMY xoxo"