The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide answers the uncomfortable questions everyone encounters on an unfortunately regular basis and talks to people around the world who embrace the stranger side of life.

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Hosted by Adam Dachis, Darren Herczeg, Erica Elson, and Richard Cardenas.

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229: Unrequited Hate

October 28, 2018 at 6:30PM • 1 hour 11 minutes • Wiki Entry

This awkward week we're talking about erotic pole dancing ethics, killing love, and crush hangouts with special guest Darren Herczeg!

Show Notes & Links Presented by CacheFly

This awkward week we're talking about erotic pole dancing ethics, killing love, crush hangouts, and dustin's penis update with special guest Darren Herczeg!

Awkward Story Time: Darren lends a phone call to a distraught woman in white lipstick. Darren also demonstrates how to tell a spooky story so you feel empowered to do it, too! If you send us a spooky awkward story for Halloween along with an address we'll mail you an Awkward Human mini fun pack for free!

Special guests: Darren Herczeg 


Alyssa: "Aloha Erica, Adam, Richard, and Guest. Did you know your names spell Ear G? I need your help making a hard decision. I'm a competitive erotic pole dancer. It's not like other dance where there's lots of competitions. Last big one was in Jamaica. I didn't win but I got the attention of these guys who run a cruise line and want me to do my routine on the boats as a headliner. Long story short my routine is a mix of erotic pole dancing and smashing fruit like Gallagher. I finger the fruit erotically also if the setting is intimate or if they got cameras to do close ups. It's very tropical and great for a cruise. I'm like the Chiquita banana woman but I dance on the pole and I smash those bananas.

This is an opportunity of a lifetime. They pay really good. You can guess how many opportunities they have out there for people who do what I do. The problem is I know they were planning to hire one of my friends who is part of an erotic pole dancing troupe. They saw my thing and decided it would be cheaper to pay just me and some assistant than a whole troupe so they never finished the contracts. Now my friend is depressed and she don't know about my good fortune with these people who could be shady for all I know. If I don't do business with them it means passing up an opportunity of a lifetime. This is for a whole year guys. If I do it I will hurt my friend. Also if I don't do it they'll hire a whole troupe of erotic pole dancers and that's more employment for our community.

What is the right thing to do guys?
- Alyssa"

Caleb: "Quick question for yall: how do I stop loving my girlfriend? We just hit 8 years and we fuckin hate each other but I love her and don't want to leave her. I don't know my life without her. How do I stop feeling for her and just hate her?

Thank you kindly,

Anonymous: "Aloha coworkers. I have a crush. She likes cats, knitting, collecting leaves, eating, watching This Is Us, playing rugby, playing golf, and chicken. Where is a good place for us to hang out so I can get her to like me?"

Dustin: "-Just listened to the episode, and i love how long it took to get through that segment!
-I think all the info will really help myself and many others, (e.g. dont compare it with items, no close ups, and not much balls, mostly body pics showing physique)
-I looked for a ruler for 15m to show actual size incase that mattered, and that was the best ruler i could find so i was too frustrated to remove the prive tag.
-I do maintenance atleast once a week and use a razor to shave my balls which most men are too scared to do so ive heard.? Curious does Adam & Richard use a razor down there?
-I really like the underwear ad pose idea Adam suggested.
-And last but not least when receiving pics from ladies i prefer boobs, a ass pic from behind while bending over, or a body pic in mirror with boobs and wearing panties. Vag isnt really necessary.

~Your fav listener Dust"