The Awkward Human Survival Guide Retired

The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide answers the uncomfortable questions everyone encounters on an unfortunately regular basis and talks to people around the world who embrace the stranger side of life.

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Hosted by Adam Dachis, Darren Herczeg, Erica Elson, and Richard Cardenas.

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215: Oops, I Talked My Abusive Father Out of a Coma!

June 20, 2018 at 1:00PM • 1 hour 3 minutes • Wiki Entry

This awkward week we're talking about laminated carrots, listening habits, fat and thin shaming, and proving your spiritual innocence with special guests Lindsay Bring and John Bring!

Show Notes & Links Presented by CacheFly

This awkward week we're talking about listening habits, and proving your spiritual innocence with special guests Lindsay Bring and John Bring!

Awkward Story Time: Adam helps Erica remove a carrot sliver from her mouth—and you won't believe what happened next! Actually, you will. Also, John and Lindsay discuss the awkwardness of talking about weight loss.

Special guests: John Bring Lindsay Bring 


Regenold Farquad: "Dear D.A.R.E. (Darren, Adam, Richard & the irritable Canadian one who in a recent episode I listened to got upset about being lumped in as a friend of Adams and encouraged people to make words out of the hosts initals. Can't you, as Richard is, just be happy for Adam irrirable Canadian one?) I did check on my work phone which I had spotify installed on but had never used it for podcasts so in that regard it was a clean device at the time about episode 103 and it was still Richards podcast rather than AHS. I've just checked now and it has however updated so episode 103 is all good now.

In the episode I've just been listening to you requested that listeners who write in notify you as to the situation they listen to your show. This was triggered as someone had just commented that they enjoyed listening while on walks. I did initially listen at work but found I couldn't continue this as my work output would drop when I did. As such I'd say over 98% of my listening has happened while driving to and from work. I probably do about 2-3 episodes a week, although sometimes I'll listen to music though as I know eventually I'll get to the point where I'm not able to consume shows at the rate I do currently do so like to from time to time prepare myself for that day. I don't after all want to get to be in the same situation as Jason from episode 40 when the Colbert Report ended, although in my case it's not that sex follows listening to episodes as half the time when I finish listening I'm walking into the office.

That said we did once have a director walk in one morning and announce to us all that he had after years of practice he finally mastered tantric wanking the previous evening. He has also taken it upon himself to educate everyone on various sexual practices such as "pooning" (nothing to do with poo, if you search for it then the definition he gave was the one on urban dictionary that includes the phrase "While maintaining the romantic mood") and "a hot lunch" (can't say the same for that one). I don't have a question though but as you requested in the latest episode I've listened to for people to just say hi and let you know when they listen I thought I'd capitulate. I'm now passed the point at which I first started to listen to the show, was a odd one as when I played the first episode I listened to I was thinking "I can't quite recall how this story with the meat boats is going to pan out but I'm sure I have heard this one before" for a while I was thinking maybe you had repeated it in a previous episode before realizing it must have been the first I'd listened to.

Coming up on the point I first wrote in, doubt I was read out on the show at the time but don't tell me if I was, want it to be a surprise if I was. My parting point on this message is that you should review the css for the site as while it does prevent prying eyes from seeing what I'm typing the yellow text on a white background makes for tricky editing.

Keep up the good work,
Regenold Farquad

Dear D.A.R.E.,

Actually there is one observation I made in my recent listenings. A while back (from my perspective) Adam called out the irritable Canadian one on why some guests are special and some just guests. The justification was given that on first outing they were special but on repeat visits the magic was gone so they were just guests. However since there have been numerous first time guests introduced as just guests, what's with that? I'm still some 50 episodes behind so maybe someone already questioned this if so I'm sure I'll hear about it soon.

Kind regards,
Regenold Farquad"

Marco: "Hi, I'm writing about a problem with my parents. My name is Marco and I'm 22. The facts are these:

My dad drunk himself into a coma after beating up my mom who would never leave him. I left when I was 17 to go work and get a degree (and I got it) because I tried and failed to get my mom away from him. It was killing me and I had to go. I get a call from her for the first time in a year to tell me he's in a coma from drinking. I said good. She said I have to come see him and talk to him so he can hear me. She cries trying to convince me he's not beating her anymore but I see she was full of shit when I get there. Then she gets up my ass about talking to him in the coma because she thinks Jesus will bring him out of it or some shit if he hears our voices. I was like fuck it since I came out there and I'll give her what she wants. I go talk to this man that makes me sick to look at and talk to him about what a shit he is. My mom cries because it's true but then he fucking flatlines and is pronounced dead half an hour later.

The problem? My mom thinks I killed him. She's telling people that I yelled at him so much that the stress made his heart stop or some shit. I am back in my life now with my boyfriend of three years and am happy as fuck otherwise so I want to just forget it but I can't. My mom is crazy but she's still a victim who won't care more about her son after the man who beat her his entire life is dead and gone. She's got insurance money and his pension. She has her freedom and I would forgive her but she just wants to be his wife. I can't be her son and accept that. I can't do it. Do I have to give up on her, or do you think there's something I can do to make her see reason?"