The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide answers the uncomfortable questions everyone encounters on an unfortunately regular basis and talks to people around the world who embrace the stranger side of life.

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Hosted by Adam Dachis, Darren Herczeg, Erica Elson, and Richard Cardenas.

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191: Thanksgiving Part I: SUILF

December 3, 2017 at 8:00PM • 57 minutes • Wiki Entry

This Awkward week (and next) we're talking about the Amazon borrowing program, a confused part-time girlfriend, and storage unit sex. Question/comment/story/whatever? Call/text 509-AWKWARD or visit for more options!

This episode wasn't sponsored by Storyblocks, but we did an ad for them anyway. :)

Show Notes & Links Presented by CacheFly

Awkward Situation of the Week: Uh...Thanksgiving for all?

This Week's Questions:

  • Mathæyós asks, "Whoops! Sorry. I'm behind on podcasts because the convention (Long Island Doctor Who) was three days ( three weeks ago) up until 3AM every night playing Cards Against Humanity, and I'm still catching up on sleep. Also some friends at the con said to give Hamilton another try and I am not throwing away my shot. As far as I know it's not possible to insert your own catheter. Tiberius did not use a catheter, but I remember when I was having my two strokes that I had one. Foley catheters have a little ballon that holds them in. You MUST take it out CORRECTLY or you WILL damage yourself (probably just lots of pain but do your due diligence). If you've seen Nurse Jackie on Netflix you've seen this in action. But there are those commercials for catheters on Faux News radio and shit, so one must be able to, right? Addendum: It apparently did not copy and paste the gifs of Frank N Furter and The 12th Doctor dancing after the Hamilton reference. It only attached it to the email. Sorry.

  • TJ (24/SM) asks, "aloha awkwards! did u ever watch those tv programs where the guy would make like a secret 'man cave' in a storage unit to escape the old ball n chain? i don't have a wife yet but when i became an adult that was the first thing i wanted to do. but college and jobs got in the way but i saved up for awhile and now im 24 so i got my pal nate to go in on it with me. we are in a medium town in wisconsin thats like 6000 pepole so u dont know the names of everybody but u maybe heard of them before like that show cheers but if everybody got dimmentia. so its like we got mcdonalds and a olive garden but besides that its all small businessess. anyways......we dont have public storage or any of the big guys. its like a small mom and pop storage and a bigger one some miles farther away. nate and me went to the bigger one because it would have more privacy and i guess that is why this problem happened. ok, nate and i asked the owner if they had a special deal even tho this was in october. he didn't but said he had one unit the last tenant disappeared on but still paid the bill but left a mess. we looked at it and it was just like he sprayed on a bed with this foam. it looked kinda like foam core but seethru like jello. i think its yellow but it looks kinda green maybe because the concrete its on. anyways its nice like a pillow. u can sleep on it so we just kept it so we didn't have to get a couch. oh yeah and we decided to rent this one because he said we could have the remainings of 2017 for free if the old guy kept paying it and he already changed the locks so no problem. like after three weeks i noticed a spot on my pants after playin games in the unit one night with nate. so i thought it was grease from a wrapper but later i noticed a hole in the foam. long story short i think somebody made a hole in the foam bed thing and has been fuckin it. i didn't think this right away so i put my finger in it and it was lube nasty definitely. i was like nate are you fuckin the foam bed? but he said no but i cant tell if hes embarrassed or if he didnt really do it and its the landlord. but if its the landlord why wasnt he fuckin the foam bed earlier when nobody was renting it. the owner said the guy disappeared when he called about the foam spray to ask wtf because its against the contact. not sure how he knew tho if he wasnt snoopin so thats why im not sure. i think nates fuckin the bed. its definitely a dick hole and its about the size of nates dick. i dont got a dildo of it so im estimating but its like three of my fingers and thats what hes packin. anyways how do i get this dealt with? i thought i could ask nate about gettin a couch and maybe hed be all like no the foam is the best and then i could be like okay but we have to fill in the fuckhole and if hes fuckin the hole he wont want to do that. but maybe he will just make another fuckhole and try to blame the owner? i dont know what that guys dick looks like so i cant say if its right for the foam hole. what do u guys think?"
  • Anonymous (25/GM) asks, "I’m a 25 year old cisgender gay man in a relationship with a man 32 years my senior (literally, he’s 57). We’ve been together for 4 years, engaged, and are very happy together regardless of the gap between our ages. My question, however, relates to our sex life. Generally I perform lots of oral sex on him, and he enjoys it. When in the mood, we have great sex. The only problem is the initiation of sexual acts it’s typically done by me. I enjoy sex with him and get really turned on by the “daddy” concept within our age difference, but I feel like if I weren’t initiating it, we..."

Special Segment: We have an interview with...nobody! But if you have a suggestion for an interview, like your favorite tooth bedazzler or an adult baby, let us know at!

Final Thoughts: You're a turkey!