The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide answers the uncomfortable questions everyone encounters on an unfortunately regular basis and talks to people around the world who embrace the stranger side of life.

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Hosted by Adam Dachis, Darren Herczeg, Erica Elson, and Richard Cardenas.

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Homeless Hotdogs and Titty Towels

176: Homeless Hotdogs and Titty Towels

August 6, 2017 at 7:45PM • 1 hour 20 minutes • Wiki Entry

This awkward week we're talking about omnisexuals, more HPV, and the gay youth! Questions/comments/stories/whatevers? Call 509-AWKWARD or visit for more options!

Show Notes & Links Presented by CacheFly

Awkward Situation of the Week: Adam helps a homeless man buy hot dogs, Erica's mom gets propositioned, and some titty holders.

This Week's Questions:

  • Mattheyous asks, "I thought pansexual was different from omnisexual. Captain Jack Harkness and his wife/partner Captain John Hart from the show Torchwood (and Doctor Who) are an example of omnisexuals. Captain Jack hits on an alien and a human at one point in Doctor Who (the episodes of Doctor Who called Utopia and Bad Wolf, respectively), for example. He also flirts with pretty much everyone, including The Doctor. Captain John is attracted to a poodle at one point. See examples one and two. Pansexuals are attracted to just people. Gender doesn't matter. Or at least that's what I thought. Am I wrong?"
  • ilovedirtydarren (SF/20s) asks, "Hi only just listened to this episode. wanted to give you guys an update on my situation. mine was the one about the friend who gave the guys i was seeing a blow job and the guy gave me HPV. i slept with him one more time after all the happened.....and he ended up putting me back at the gynecologist......because he caused me to bleed...yep. and i was in a lot of pain for a few days. safe to say this was the last time i slept with him, i think he thinks i got my period but that wasn't the case. i didn't know i was bleeding till after he left and i was in a bit of discomfort but yes you were all right, he wasnt worth it. i can find someone else to sleep with causally if i wanted to but honestly he's just turned me off men for a while. and for the record i was only considering sleeping with him still because of his penis and also because it was convenient. im still friends with my friend and i haven't spoken to him since really i think once or twice he messaged me but i didn't respond and i believe my friend still talks to him....not sure why. i think she likes the guy attention She STILL hasn't been tested for HPV because she's an idiot but ive told her multiple times to get tested. also i had the vaccination at school, they provided it in Australia when i was younger...and i'm so glad they did. so i still have it but its just not a severe level of HPV is it normal to be scared to sleep with guys because of my HPV? i know its kind of irrational and most people have it but honestly i don't want any girl to have to go through the worry i had while i waited for my test results. it was awful. thanks guys :) love the show"
  • Tobi (15/GM) asks, "Listen"
  • Zelda (14/GF) asks, "Hi everybody! I'm 14, gay, and a female. In mid-January, my boyfriend of 10 months (I know I'm not attracted to males, but everybody makes mistakes, right?) broke up with me. I wouldn't normally be very upset, but he did it over text. We agreed to be friends, and I thought all was fine between us. However, a few weeks later, he said I was the reason he was depressed and had suicidal thoughts. He told me a few weeks after that that he began seeing a therapist. He continually claimed that I had fucked up his life and eventually told me to never talk to him again. I have tried approaching him a few times since then, but he was still bitter towards me. I cannot figure out what I possibly could have done. He already had obvious self-esteem issues when I met him, and by the end of our relationship we were both being assholes to each other. I highly doubt I caused his depression. Should I keep trying to talk to him? Should I apologize? Or should I just forget it all and move on? A side note, Zelda is not my real name."
  • Jack (15/GM) asks, "aloha guys, I’m 15 gay (not publicly out) and from the uk, I’ve had this on my mind for a while and its been stressing me out not knowing what to do about it, so theres this guy… he’s the same age as me and he really cute, but not out of my league (i think) he sits infront of me in math class, and I’m not sure if he flirts with me, whenever he turns around he looks at me first and smiles and he laughs at my jokes, in PE class we played a game of bagmington (very english i know) i was terrible at it but he was really good and he kept on tripping over and starring at me laughing and putting his head down whenever i noticed. I’m not sure if I’m going crazy here just because I’m infatuated with him but i really want this to result in something ; ) i plan on coming out in September (when school starts again) i know he’s not homophobic because we do talk occasionally in math class and i think he’s a virgin but i don’t know for sure. he’s just really hot and i think if i dint do something this crush will continue for the rest of the year. so in summary how to i tell if he’s dtf and how id make a move/flirt with him discreetly? thanks for your help in advance and i really like your show, i must have gone through every episode walking my dog also Darren HERcheg and IUD girl are my favourites."

Special Segment: Dog Hacker!

Final Thoughts: What's your favorite kind of knob? Is it a door knob, or a slob knob? Or something else entirely? There's a wide world of knobs out there.

Related Links:

  • Ta-Ta Towel: From the creator: "I was living in Los Angeles and getting ready to go out on a first date. As I got out of the shower and started getting ready, I could not stop sweating -- not because I was about to go on a first date, but because my tiny A/C unit was broken AND it was the beginning of summer. I had a lot working against me. I tried everything: I tucked wash cloths under my breasts, I tried dumping baby powder all over me, I even put a t-shirt on and tucked it under my boobs. But the wash cloths looked ridiculous, the baby powder made me look more like dough, and the t-shirt was making me sweat even more. While I was blow-drying my hair, I just kept thinking: 'There HAS to be a better way to keep the beads of sweat from dripping down my stomach.' Sound familiar?"
  • Norma Stitz: Wikipedia: "Annie Hawkins-Turner, better known by the pseudonym Norma Stitz, is a website entrepreneur and fetish model. Her stage name is a word-play on 'enormous tits'. Her breast size is said to be 102ZZZ, and each of her breasts weighs around 56 pounds (25 kg) according to the UK magazine show 'This Morning', on which she appeared on 23 June 2011."
  • Big Black Cake: Ashley Manta's herpes advice!