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The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide answers the uncomfortable questions everyone encounters on an unfortunately regular basis and talks to people around the world who embrace the stranger side of life.

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Hosted by Adam Dachis, Darren Herczeg, Erica Elson, and Richard Cardenas.

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A Dead Man's Foreskin

173: A Dead Man's Foreskin

July 22, 2017 at 10:30AM • 1 hour 12 minutes • Wiki Entry

This awkward week we're talking about sweaty romance, un-circumcision, and tampon physics! Also, Darren's back! Got questions/comments/stories/whatevers? Call/text 509-AWKWARD or visit!

Please Support us on Patreon for as little as $1 a month!

Show Notes & Links Presented by CacheFly

Awkward Situation of the Week: Richard overhears a father's poor choice of words at Panda Express.

This Week's Questions:

  • Sami asks, "Re: Vagina People Hey guys, just wanted to let you know, I immediately thought about a gender neutral term for people with vaginas. Cya"
  • Kat Knits Hats shares an online dating message: "I just thought this was funny. It's from SpongeBob ... Anyways bye thanks love the show."

  • Jamie (21/BF) asks, "Hi I'm Jamie, I am 21 years old, a girl and bisexual (but that is not important in this story I don't think...?) So yesterday was my friends birthday (let's call him Richard) as he is quite a shy person I knew clubbing wouldn't be a good thing, so i offered to take him to a trampoline place. We went to this place and on the way his friend got a nosebleed on the bus and i jokingly offered him a tampon to block it as none of us had any tissues... this isn't the awkward part but adds to it in an ironic way. So I'm bouncing on this trampoline (by the way I was on my period and was using a tampon) and i went to the toilet and came back up and carried on bouncing... then the most embarrassing thing happened; my tampon fell out... thankfully only the two people i was with saw (I think) and I panicked and tried to push it under the side bet but it wouldn't go under. I have anxiety so i was really panicking. My friend told me to sit down over it and put it in my pocket and go to the bathroom... This is what i did but it was the most embarrassing thing to happen to me ever :O. I was so worried about what it made people think as that isn't something that has never happened to me and i worry people will think im a bucket or something... I mean just wondering aswell what would have been the best was to handle this? Thanks guys Aloha"
  • Lizbeth (25/F) asks, "Hey awkward people! Lizbeth from Austin here, just wanted to share an awkward situation from my past with you. When I was 16, I'm now 25, I lost my virginity! Well a little insight to my upbringing I had an extremely religious and strict step mother, who's version of "the talk" was degradingly saying that I was probably gunna end up knocked up and ruining my life. So I knew close to nothing about sex around this time. I freaked out my first time. But the story actually comes from the second time I had sex, things were starting out and we're in the bed and I'm jerking him off... Well all of a sudden he says OW and asks me to hold on then goes to the restrooom.. so I'm there waiting in the dark for a while and eventually I get up and turn on the light and realize... There is blood ALL OVER my hand. Shortly after he comes out and says that I had ripped his skin on his penis... Well before this his penis looked circumcised then after it was healed it very much had a turtle neck!!! Is it really possible to un-circumcise someone?? I obviously don't need advice on this since it's almost ten years in the past but I thought you'd all enjoy the story."
  • Nini (21/SF) asks, "I met a drummer from a band I heard play in a bar one night. He approached me and I took it as a friendly thing, although, I know these things aren't platonic AT ALL. Since then, his interest for me only grew. While that was going on on his side, I was very interested in making friends with him. I would consider dating him, even sleeping with him, but he isn't on the same page with me on that; he wants something serious. I told him it wasn't going to happen, that I'm not into commitments, but he just doesn't stop. During the first night we spoke extensively, he was already going on about future plans with me. I think he's seriously infatuated and obsessed at this point and it creeps me out. Aside from that, he is too excited to have sex with me. He treats sex with me as an "escape from [his] problems" (verbatim. Exactly what he said) He doesn't stop, and even calls me when I'm well busy and it annoys me so much. My question is, is it okay to ghost him? I've already told him that I'm so annoyed and I only want to be friends. I'm 21 straight female and he is 23 straight male. Also, idk if it's worth to mention that he's technically homeless and lives off his parents still. I'm not judging him for that but in a love&relationship standpoint I don't think it's healthy for someone in that situation to be in a relationship just yet, I just want him to figure things out before diving into things like this. Can I ghost him?"
  • Laynie asks, "I was recently asked out at the gym. It was post workout, so I was super sweaty and kinda still zoned out, and I was really caught off guard. He just randomly walked up to me at the water fountain and asked for my number. I'd never even noticed the guy at the gym before (let alone talked to him), and he definitely wasn't my type. I feel like I was kind of a bitch when I said no. How should I have handled this situation?"

Special Segment: Happy Butt Day! Also, check out Axxe Body Spray Vitamins! Also, support us on Patreon, please!

Final Thoughts: Do you pay attention to the varying scent of your urine? Do you consider why it smells the way it smells? Perhaps you should. Perhaps you'd learn something about yourself, and something about the world of consumption.

Related Links:

  • Andrew Cherng: Wikipedia: "Andrew Cherng (pronounced Chur-ng; born 1948) is a Chinese-born American restaurateur. He is the founder and chairman of Panda Restaurant Group Inc., based in Rosemead, California.[3] He is well known for being the co-founder and chief executive officer of Panda Express. The Cherngs invest out of their family office, the Cherng Family Trust."
  • Panda Express: Our Family Story: Panda Express: "Bringing people together to share joy has been our family's inspiration since opening the first Panda Express in 1983 in Glendale, California. As we continue to open restaurants from coast to coast and around the world, the bold flavors of Chinese cuisine inspire our cooking, while our extended family of guests and associates remains at the heart of what we do. Welcome to our family's Chinese Kitchen."
  • Our interview with Thinx (Period Underwear) Founder Miki Agrawal: For Jamie :)
  • Erica's experience with Thinx Underwear: Also for Jamie!