The Awkward Human Survival Guide Retired

The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide answers the uncomfortable questions everyone encounters on an unfortunately regular basis and talks to people around the world who embrace the stranger side of life.

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Hosted by Adam Dachis, Darren Herczeg, Erica Elson, and Richard Cardenas.

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Penis Elbow

168: Penis Elbow

June 5, 2017 at 6:15PM • 1 hour 6 minutes • Wiki Entry

This awkward week we're talking about masturbatory sports medicine, butt smell, and the meaning of life! Questions/comments/stories/whatevers? Call/text 509-AWKWARD or visit for all your options!

Special guest: Will Sterling, creator and host of the Motivation Report.

Check out Interview with a Comic Book Nerd (new podcast from Richard!) and the amazing Elbow Muzzle (to protect yourself from your demon arm bumps)!

Show Notes & Links Presented by CacheFly

Awkward Situation of the Week: Erica gets a soothing gum massage and finds out someone's gay for her.

This Week's Questions:

  • Debbie Downest (18/SF) asks, "Hi there I don't want to sound depressing but why are alive? Like can you tell me the point? I'm not gonna go self-immolate after this but life just doesn't make sense to me. What is the point in your opinions?"
  • Mattheyous asks, "So my elbow hurst. Both of them, but the left elbow started hurting more. The reason I ask you this is because my doctor won’t define repetitive activities are. The only thing i can think of is masturbation, but would lots of that cause elbow pain? I googled it and apparently there is. I think masturbating plus my ususl muscle wasting gave me tennis elbow. How can I masturbate without making my elbow worse?! Am I going to have to buy a fleshlight or some other sex toy? If I do I can’t use it hands free because I’m not supposed to kneel due to my patellofemoral pain syndrome, but I can’t use it normally because I’m not supposed to use my elbow, etc. Please help. Also I’m sharing your video as much as I can, Dachis! I did some research and the only non-Fleshlight toy that is hands-free is this. But I'm not so sure about it."
  • Tori (BF) asks, "Heyy, Tori, Bi female. I have a question and needing some advice. My bf and i have been together for 2 years. We have good sex and i really enjoyit, but we don't try new things. I'm quite adventurous in the bedroom and especially like dirty talk, i've mentioned it to him and he says he'll try but when it comes to it he says he just feels awkward. How can i express to him that this will get me 'all the way there', and that its not awkward. I have said that to him and expressed how i feel, but isn't working."
  • Geraldo (23/BM) asks, "23 bisexual male. I generally keep my butt clean. Babywipes and whatnot. And I like fingering my butt. I did it and then washed my hands really well with soap and hot water. All over. Under the nails, even. Then, a bit later, I'm eating some grapes... ...and I smell butt! Whenever my finger gets close to my face I smell butt. So I get up, I go wash my hands. Again, really well. Soap, hot water, under the nails. I scrub that shit like I'm heading to the OR or something. I still smell butt on my finger. It won't go away. This happens every time I finger my butt or apply butt cream or do anything that involves putting fingers near my butt. I can't get the butt smell off my fingers, no matter what. Note that this is not a poop smell, it's a butt smell. They are related, but they are not the same. My questions: 1) What is it about butt that is so hard to remove the smell? 2) Is this one of those things that only I can smell? Would others be able to smell the butt on my fingers? 3) If I can smell it, is it harmful? Am I gonna get the e Coli on my grapes? This is not a joke question."

Special Segment: Check out the wonderful new podcast, Interview with a Comic Book Nerd! It's hosted by Richard Cardenas, who you already know and love. :)

Final Thoughts: If you decide to lick her neck, back, pussy, and crack, make sure you use some mouthwash before numbers three and four. These are delicate human ecosystems, people. Don't mix 'n' match the bacteria populations!