The Awkward Human Survival Guide Retired

The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide answers the uncomfortable questions everyone encounters on an unfortunately regular basis and talks to people around the world who embrace the stranger side of life.

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Hosted by Adam Dachis, Darren Herczeg, Erica Elson, and Richard Cardenas.

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The Domino Effect: HPV Edition

159: The Domino Effect: HPV Edition

April 5, 2017 at 3:00AM • 1 hour 23 minutes • Wiki Entry

This awkward week we're talking about talking about bisexual Mormons, introverted sex, and HPV! Got questions/answers/comments/stories/etceteras? Call/text 509-AWKWARD or visit for every option!

Show Notes & Links Presented by CacheFly

Awkward Situation of the Week: Richard ignores a pregnant coworker vomiting into a trash can. Erica's mom tries to marry her to Jacob with "cursed" wedding rings.

This Week's Questions:

  • ilovedirtydaren (20/SF) asks, "ok so im a straight girl in my 20's. i met this guy through a good girlfriend of mine once or twice and then one night when i had my apartment to myself (my roommate was away for the weekend) i decided to invite him over to bang because well why not? i was interested in him when i first met him.... but nothing ever eventuated because im a horrible flirt and boys are stupid. Anyway as i inviting him over i was talking to my friend who introduced us, she was all for us hooking up, she said he was a nice me and this guy made it a bit of a regular thing....friends with benefits as some might say. i admit that at the first i was thinking that it could be something more than just banging but i changed my mind pretty quickly after it was clear that he wasnt interested in anything more.....and also i got to know him and realized we had nothing in common except that we both liked to bang each other. soon after the first time i found out the guy gave me HPV... we continued to have sex 3 or so more times after that. And id talk pretty openly about our set up with the girlfriend that introduced us...and all of a sudden she got really against us hooking up...and i thought it was because she thought i liked him, even though i made it very clear that i wasnt secretly in love with him or anything ( my friends assume that i cant fuck without feelings just because they cant) Anyway one night a had dinner with my girlfriend a few days after i had slept with the guy and i said i was going to stop sleeping with him because he was annoying......then she tells me that she gave him head.....and had been keeping it from me, i asked her when....she said that it was "ages ago" ( i later found out after i had forgiven her that it was soon after the first time i slept with him, so potentially she also has HPV) im yet to ask him about what happened, but she was drunk and needed a lift home from the city at 3am...he was sober and went and got her but not till she agreed "to do anything" for a lift (yes hes an asshole and shes stupid) anyway so that happened...i havent spoken to him much since, and im trying to mend the mistrust i now have for my closes question is should i keep having casual sex with him or not? girls got to eat you know? and him being a dickhead which i already knew really helps me not get feels........and do i tell my now not so trustworthy friend ? also im not mad at her becuase it was him, just that she didnt tell me, she came to mine the night after it happened and never said anything, and im also annoyed that shes fucked up my casual sex thing. and what really annoys me is this guy can now be like oh i got with two girls that were really good friends and they both dont so hot and amazing ...also full disclosure i told them both about the HPV...he tried to say i got it from some other guy...i hadnt slept with anyone for like 2 years before thats so hes kidding himself."
  • JR (24/SF) asks, "I am a 24 year old straight girl (from Norway, so my english isn't great but, well I'm trying). I have a question. Do you have any dating advice for introverts with trust issues and next to no sexual experience/ never had the courage to have sober sex? I am a ball of anxiety when it comes to men which probably stems from my mom going through very many relationships when I was young and we moved around a lot. My stepfather's ranged from ; A drug addict which was the nicest one (and he looked like kurt cobain) which got murdered because he owed bad drug people money when I was three.To a psychotic car fanatic who had a knack for emotional blackmail/ mom was so broken down by him emotionally that I basically had to break up with him for her. Then the motherfucker stole my bike. (wtf dude). You see where i am going with this? Not exactly the best luck with role models I've also been cheated on by a earlier boyfriend, and i get super uncomfortable when guys are nice to me, never had a real relationship, my longest lasted like four months. Its not like im a total introvert, I DO have social skills and i work as a bartender. I just have insecurities when it comes to trust and intimacy. Im sorry you had to read all this, im realizing I've written quite a bit but I'm just trying to give you guys some uh I don't know, context? Maybe I just have daddy issues, I don't know. Halp! Love your podcasts!"
  • Elizabeth (19/BF) asks, "Hello guys! I am a 19 year old female, and for reference I'm Mormon. I technically identify as Bisexual (2 on the Kinsey scale), but more specifically I am Heterosexual homoromantic. I'm not sexually attracted to women, but I have romantic feelings for certain women after I get to know them. Some people have told me that I am probably sexually attracted to women, but just don't know because I haven't experimented. I don't want to experiment because I am pretty religious, and have strong faith and personally I don't think I need to experiment. I have just always felt like this and my sexual/romantic orientation is not weird to me like it is to some people. Many people I talk to are slightly confused don't believe me when I tell them I am romantically but not sexually attracted to women. I guess it's probably because not a lot of people consider it a possibility. How can I help people understand this, and accept my sexual orientation without it becoming too awkward, or becoming an argument about sexuality?"
  • Lexapro Sufferer (SF) asks, "Hi, I have a bit of an issue. I suffer from severe depression and recently, my doctor has prescribed me Lexapro on top of my originally prescribed anti-depressant. I have noticed my mood has generally improved, but I'm experiencing an unpleasant side effect; I am having an extremely difficult time reaching orgasm while on the medication. This is presenting a huge problem in my relationship because my boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship and we both get our sexual desires satisfied from mutual masturbation. Considering he is from South America and I am from North America, we don't see each other often. I also have an extremely high sex drive for a woman so it's torturing me not being able to orgasm. I'm too embarrassed to talk about this side effect with my psychiatrist so discussing it with my doctor is out of the question. What should I do? This problem is frustrating both my boyfriend and I."

Special Segment: Oh just wait, it's coming! We've got some fun stuff on the way... ;)

Final Thoughts: You know your mind's eye, but do you know your mind's anus?