The Awkward Human Survival Guide Retired

The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide answers the uncomfortable questions everyone encounters on an unfortunately regular basis and talks to people around the world who embrace the stranger side of life.

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Hosted by Adam Dachis, Darren Herczeg, Erica Elson, and Richard Cardenas.

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15: M*********** for Puppies

June 24, 2014 at 1:15AM • 52 minutes • Wiki Entry

This week on the podcast we're talking about using puppies as leverage for a h*, crying during s, and sphincter replacements. We're also talking to a proctologist's assistant to learn all about the crazy s that can happen with your butt.

Show Notes & Links Presented by CacheFly

Awkward Situation of the Week: Whether or not Darren is an a**hole. Nick, aka "the Mantalope," writes: "Why is Erica always eating on the podcast? I mean if she has some sort of blood sugar disorder or is she pregnant I can understand that, then she needs to eat all the time. I'm totally fine if she's nibbling on something here and there but I swear she's been trying to eat the loudest food possible the last few episodes. Also Darren totally isn't an a**hole anyone who wrote in about him being an a**hole is clearly a p***y. I really love the podcast, It totally makes my workdays more fun."

This Week's Questions:

  • Billy asks, "I met a guy on Grindr who seemed really nice. He immediately disclosed that he had a boyfriend and was only looking for friends. I didn’t have a problem with this because making friends is nice too, but when on Grindr, who is really looking for “just friends”. We set up a get together with two of my friends and his boyfriend. We all had a good time hanging out. A few days later, he invited me over to play with his puppies he had just bought. I love animals and told him this so it seemed like he was just being nice. Deep down, I knew he was up to no good. I was out with friends and was returning home very late when he invited me. So I decided to just go over because I figured that nothing had to happen. When I arrived, he brought out his puppies and I got to play with them. He then turned on the TV and we started talking on his couch. The conversation and vibe was very normal and friendly. Out of nowhere, he asked me if I wanted to j*** o** with him. I was surprised and the abrupt and blunt way he asked, but wasn’t surprised that this is where we ended up. I said “That’s awkward” and he asked “Why”. I said, “You have a boyfriend…” and he just replied “yeah.” So I said, “No thanks” and we hung out a while longer. It felt so awkward and I didn’t really know if I should have left immediately or hang around a while longer, which is what I did because I thought it would be less awkward, which I don’t think it was… I eventually left and have had very minimal contact since then. What should I have done? What should I do if this type of situation were to happen again?"
  • Anel asks, "My friend and I have a disagreement on a specific situation we sometimes encounter in our lives. When you are interacting with a stranger (server, cashier, any old lady) and they have lipstick on their teeth, should we say something? I believe we should, my friend says you shouldn’t because it will be embarrassing for them. I think it would be embarrassing regardless once they find out. What do you think?"
  • Sima asks, "How much d*** can an a*****e take before an a*****e can't take d***?"
  • Diamond asks, "So my boyfriend asked me to move in with him and I was pretty much like 'no.' I've been seeing him for eight months and he's messy and I never like going over there. He knows. I don't know why he even asked me. So fine, but now whenever we're getting busy he starts crying. And I'm like, 'there there' while he's still in me and I feel like I'm making love to a baby. MY OWN BABY. So we talked about it and he's all about how I don't give a damn and I told him I do, but he keeps crying like a little b****. What?"

Special Segment: Interview with Jordan Snodgrass, a colorectal surgeon transcription and assistant.

Final Thoughts: Rosebudding