The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide answers the uncomfortable questions everyone encounters on an unfortunately regular basis and talks to people around the world who embrace the stranger side of life.

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Hosted by Adam Dachis, Darren Herczeg, Erica Elson, and Richard Cardenas.

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135: Daddy Issues

October 10, 2016 at 6:15AM • 1 hour 44 minutes • Wiki Entry

This awkward week we're talking about daddy issues, beating up your boyfriend, and negotiating threesomes. Questions/comments/stories? Call/text 509-AWKWARD, visit, or write!

Special guest: Ashley Manta

Show Notes & Links Presented by CacheFly

Awkward Situation of the Week: Adam enters the Void and survives.

This Week's Questions:

  • Canadan (19/M) asks, "Alright so I think I've become fairly equipped to escape awkward situations on my own thanks to all I've learned from you over the years so if I'm writing to you with an awkward situation (which I am), you know it's gonna be a doozy. Let me preface by saying this has nothing to do with relationships, sex, dating, etc, any of that. This is strictly a friend problem. Last year at the beginning of the school year, I was involved in some events during frosh week among a fairly large team of other students. Large enough that I met most of them, but also had never even encountered a bunch. At the end of the week, this girl comes up to me, knows exactly who I am and what program I'm in (she's in it too) and starts acting like we were friends or something. All I could think of is WHOSE MANS IS THIS because I'd literally never seen her before, but people are generally nice around my university so I thought she was just being friendly and was like, okay, this is cool, I can live with this. Following this, throughout the school year, we'd always end up together studying or doing work together outside of classes – and, as a result, occasionally hanging out outside of that – but none of it was initiated by me. I wouldn't necessarily shy away from it because it seemed harmless, and we were fairly productive together. But one thing I've noticed is that she seems to take advantage of other people, including me. Stuff like asking me 20 questions about a topic rather than fucking googling it or checking her notes like a student naturally would as a first resort. She also asks me to do a lot of things for her, like explain how to use Microsoft Excel on the phone for an hour and then sending me her spreadsheet to click the "plot graph" button because she can't find it. Whatever. It's a lot of small stuff that eats away at my time. But now I feel stuck in this situation because, not only have we been in close proximity of each other over the past year, but, as a result, she's started referring to me as her "best friend" ALL THE TIME which makes me super uncomfortable. Because 1) I have a circle of close friends and wouldn't consider any of them to be more "best" than the others, and 2) I would not consider her a close friend because she is obnoxious and high maintenance. But she is obsessed with me I think and smothers me all the time saying I'm her best friend and she doesn't know what she'd do without me because I've somehow helped her get through a lot of shit without me actually doing anything other than politely listening to her stories all the time. I'm happy to listen and offer support, but this girl but this "friendship" is exhausting, and I feel like I always give and never get anything in return. I spending 90% of my time with her and 10% of my time with my actual friends, who are amazing people I've had the privilege of meeting during my time at university. I'm not sure how to get out of this. I've tried ignoring her and not showing any sort of interest in her or addressing her "best friend" remarks, but she keeps smothering me and literally following me places because we have the same classes. She thinks I'm her best friend yet I can't stand her. I don't think it's reasonable to cut her off completely because I'm happy to remain acquaintances with her since I see her around a lot and is sometimes fun to talk to. I know the obvious answer is to talk to her about it, which I know I must do, but I'd like some suggestions for how to start this conversation."
  • Sophie (25/SF) asks, "Hello! My name is Sophie, I'm a 25 year old straight female and I'm in kind of a pickle. I've recently started talking to this guy, and I really like him a lot. I'm currently away for work, and will be returning soon (within the month). Me and him started talking back in the beginning of August? I believe, and we have a slight past (only hung out once, I didn't continue it for other reasons that make up a whole other story). Anyway, we've had a good bit of time to really connect and get to know each other. The only potential problem I'm facing is, I think he's really submissive in bed in the sense that he wants me to like.. Hit him and be mean. I don't know. It's really awkward for me because I've never been with a guy who was in to that before, and I don't even know if he's being serious or not! He won't give me a straight answer, which makes me think that he is being serious. He's really sarcastic and we joke around a lot, so sometimes he'll say something along the lines of how me saying I'll "beat him up" turns him on. One time in particular, he said something similar to that, at first I played along thinking he was joking. But then, when I asked if he meant it, he didn't tell me yes or no. Just that he didn't know. ANYWAY, the point is, I really like him, and I want to be able to do things for him that he likes, but I also don't want to hurt him. Like I previously said, I've never dealt with a guy who was like that before, so I have no idea how to go about handling this. Any advice or tips you guys could offer? Thanks so much!"
  • Sad Scientist (25) asks, "Hola co-workers, I'm 25 and I feel like my life is in a rut. My entire life, my dream career has been to work with animals as a zookeeper or wildlife biologist, but I realized shortly after graduating from college that I did not have the financial means to break into the animal field. (To make a long story short, this is one of those uber popular career choices where you need to have experience to get experience, and many people volunteer or hop around from temp job to temp job without ever getting a permanent job opportunity.) After doing the volunteer/intern/temp job thing for a little over two years, getting burnt out, and being unable to afford chasing my passion any more, I ended up using my experience to get a job at a lab which, among other things, involves animal testing. I hate it. I feel like a monster whenever someone finds out what I do. But I don't know where to go from here. I feel like there are so many people my age that have already began their careers and are amassing great, useful life skills that will further their opportunities later, whereas the only skills I'm in the middle of honing are being able to figure out how much illicit drug to give a monkey that weighs X and how to avoid letting my co-workers know how miserable I am. My question is: is it normal to be so directionless at this point in my life? How do I decide where to take my career and how can I be happy with the opportunities I've been given? (I make pretty good money and the research I do, while depressing, does have merit - the ultimate goal is to figure out the mechanics of addiction and develop therapies to treat people with drug dependencies.) How long did it take you to consider yourself happy and successful in your chosen career? Was that your first career choice? Did you always know what you wanted to do? I'm worried I will never find another passion and that being miserable with my work life will turn me into a miserable person overall. Sorry for the spiel, but thanks in advance for any advice you have."
  • Anonymous (23/SM) asks, "My last two girlfriends have both wanted to call me daddy, I'm just curious as to why this keeps happening because I'm only 23, maybe it's a coincidence, I'm not sure how common it is. It's not really a problem I've actually gotten pretty into it but they both wanted me to be really dominant, which I'm really introverted and just not used to that but do my best to accommodate that need, and like they both wanted these lists of rules, i guess it's part of the whole thing. But my current girlfriend doesn't really follow her rules unless she's in her sub space/little space and it's hard to give her the discipline she wants because we're going through a long distance period until January. Just wanted to hear what you guys think and maybe looking for some advice on being dominant and confident in that role. Thanks."
  • Julia N. (23/SF) asks, "Awkward humans! My boyfriend and I have been together for three years, and we recently decided to have a threesome. We have been looking for people on apps (ie Tinder and Feeld), and it has been pretty difficult to find a lady, but I did meet a guy I really like. We have sexted (boyfriend is ok with it) a bunch and chat a lot, and I totally want him to join us in bed. However, my boyfriend wants to chat with a few more people, especially a chick, before we decide who we want to have join us. The whole thing feels a little weird, like we are interviewing people for sex. But the guy I met doesn't feel like that; it feels much more natural than that. I don't want to push my boyfriend into anything, but I really want this to happen! Any thoughts? I predict you guys saying that I should just be patient and talk it out with him, but was wondering if you had any other ideas to help explain myself to him without seeming like I just want to get with this other guy because that's not the case. Also, love you guys. You are the reason I am open to this at all. I am completely inspired by your show. Julia PS I am a straight 23 year old female, boyfriend is a straight 23 year old male, third party is a straight 25 year old male...because I feel like I'm supposed to tell you that."

Special Segment: Sex Educator Ashley Manta returns to talk about being a Cannasexual.

Final Thoughts: It's not a weed tampon!

Related Links:

  • Say What’s Not Being Said: Reid’s Formula for Difficult Conversations: It’s what you’re not saying that’s destroying your relationships…

    The plain truth of intimacy is this: It’s what we’re not saying in our relationships that’s slowly killing them. Withholding the important and even the trivial, over time, fosters resentment and mistrust, eroding intimacy. And it’s not just the negative stuff that we don’t say that’s detrimental; withheld acknowledgements and appreciations are just as toxic to the health of intimacy and connection as withheld frustrations and upsets.

  • Kink Academy: You’ve grown up, and so should your sex ed! Kink Academy is a comprehensive library of sex-ed videos for adventurous, consenting adults. Whether you’re new to kink or an experienced player, there’s something for everyone to learn on Kink Academy.
  • Ozia Originals Elevate Ultra Premium Hemp Oil, 250mg, Peppermint Flavor: Our formula is optimized to manage inflammation and pain relief naturally through terpenes, essential fatty acids (Omega 3,6,9) as well as phytochemicals for stress and anxiety relief.
  • Sunny Megatron's Kinky Yes/No/Maybe List: ROUGH BS is a preliminary BDSM pre-negotiation tool used to outline limits and determine compatibility between potential scene members. This system also helps the Dominant construct a scene geared toward the submissives needs and desires.
  • DDLG: Daddy Dom, Little Girl- Video by Autumn Herah: A great video explaining DDLG relationships by Autumn Herah from Topless Books. Watch her other videos and be sure to subscribe!
  • What Makes You A Daddy Dom?: When it comes to Daddy Dom/little girl relationships, it takes two very unique and specific types of people to make the relationship work. It is not enough simply to be a dominant or a submissive, you need to be more than that to fulfill the roles of either a Daddy Dom or a little. i have already talked about what makes you a little in my post How Do You Know if You are a Little and now it is on to the other half of the relationship, the Daddy Dom.
  • HempMeds: Real Scientific Hemp Oil
  • Apothecanna: Apothecanna products are formulated with natural, nutritious ingredients to help balance the body and the senses. We thoughtfully source organic and wildcrafted essential oils from their native regions of the world. Every ingredient we use is an 'active' ingredient for a specific therapeutic purpose. We do not use artificial ingredients, fillers, parabens or GMO ingredients. All of our formulations are original and tested on us. We believe that natural treatments are the best treatments, and strive to create products with uncompromised purity, quality, and functionality.