The Awkward Human Survival Guide Retired

The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide answers the uncomfortable questions everyone encounters on an unfortunately regular basis and talks to people around the world who embrace the stranger side of life.

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Hosted by Adam Dachis, Darren Herczeg, Erica Elson, and Richard Cardenas.

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125: All Hands on Dick

August 2, 2016 at 1:15AM • 1 hour 25 minutes • Wiki Entry

This awkward week we're talking about breaking up with friends, insensitive dicks, and Darren's beautiful yet absent smile. Questions/comments/stories? Visit or call/text 509-AWKWARD!

Show Notes & Links Presented by CacheFly

Awkward Situation of the Week: A Korean BBQ waiter doesn't like what Erica orders for dinner, a woman loses her shit because she thinks Starbucks wants to charge her $60 for ice, and Adam and Richard learn about giving elaborate hand jobs from recent guest Ashley Manta.

This Week's Questions:

  • JubbJubb the Iguana asks, "Hello, Thank you so much for your wonderful advice. I laughed real loud while listening while running on the treadmill at my gym. I really appreciate your feedback. To answer your guys' question about what type of dirty talk I like, it's a lot of role play, usually the man having power over me... That sort of thing..(ex. I need to pay rent but can't pay enough on time so I have to do sexual favors)... It's very opposite of my husband because he's sweet, caring and wonderful. Anyhoo, I thought hard about my options and I think I will try sifting through gay porn sites. I don't think my husband would like the idea of people recording themselves specifically for me to listen as I know he would consider it cheating. I loved Erica's suggestion that he read something to me, but I know the content I like is a bit taboo and extreme for him. If gay poem is a bust for me, I'll accept it and move on. I thank you all again. I'll forever be a fan of this podcast. Please have more Darren on the show. I loved his dirty talk and he made me feel special. I notice on his Instagram he doesn't smile. Why don't you smile Darren??? - you're super sexy!"
  • Anonymous (F) asks, "Me and my friend were really close once but I’ve grown so much as a person this year that I don’t feel like I get much out of our friendship anymore and am just not that into it. Recently she’s been constantly texting me, saying I’m her best friend and how much she misses me. I still care about her but I just don’t feel the same anymore. What do I do?"
  • Barbara (SF) asks, "Okay, someone gotta tell me this. What if your guy breaks it off with you over silly reasons every 2 months and you BEG him to take you back every goddam time. You go out of your way to be there for him in every way possible while he tells you to be thankful that you got to be HIS girl. This goes on and on for 3 years till he says that he doesn't want you to bother him and stops responding to your calls/talks for a minute a month and after a year of this, (when you're with somebody else, sick and tired of being treated like a shit by him) he comes back saying we never broke up and he just needed time off because you bring me bad luck but now I know you're not unlucky but you’re a bitch for cheating on me. So am I cheating bitch cause I don't think so."
  • Saurabh asks, "i dream in day with open eyes that is of something terrible.i think i will get mad.i dont remember the dream but it gives me head ache.i cant take it anymore."
  • Kramer (24/GM) asks, "Hello Awkward Humans! My name is Kramer; I'm a 24 year old gay male who has recently started a new relationship! He's a nice, normal, financially/emotionally stable guy who likes me a lot and enjoys my company. Like most couples, we enjoy making love on the regs. however, I find that my penis is not as sensitive as it could be; the only way I can orgasm during sex is if I masturbate myself to orgasm. My boyfriend likes it when I cum in him (we've both been tested and agreed to be monogamous, and I'm on PreP), but the only way I can do it is if I jerk my stick while I'm thrusting it in him. I'd like to point out that I had this problem before I started dating him, and I masturbated a lot, especially as a teenager, 98% of the time without lube. I feel like this could be the cause of it but I'm not a doctor so what do I know, right? So my question is, is there anything I can do to have a more sensitive dick???? Or am I doomed to only cumming from jerking off? Thanks for reading my question! I love your shows (I listen on my way to work) and you guys rock!"

Special Segment: Interview with Sea Captain Date.

Final Thoughts: "Froot Loops" isn't slang for gay cock rings. Please don't promote that idea. It's stupid.

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